IT CAME FROM SPACE

Hinkly Dinkly Reporting

MYSTERIOUS OBJECT CRASHES THROUGH ROOF

FREEHOLD TOWNSHIP, NJ - Authorities were trying to identify a mysterious metallic object that crashed through the roof of a house in eastern New Jersey.

Nobody was injured when the golf-ball-sized object, weighing nearly as much as a can of soup, struck the home and embedded itself in a cellar wall.

Federal officials at hand said it was not from an aircraft…”But it could be from a spaceship.”

That statement was later recanted and the government disavowed any knowledge of it, after instructing citizens to disregard it.

The object is said to have fallen from Deep Space and probably traveled thousands of light-years to reach New Jersey. Police have dusted it for fingerprints.

Approximately 20 to 50 rock-like objects fall every day over the entire planet, said a professor of astronomy at Rutgers University.

He said laboratory tests would have to be conducted to determine if the object was a meteorite, however he was reasonably sure it was not a piece of a planet.

Professor Penwose arrived on hand and I asked his opinion of the origin of a golf ball sized metallic object weighing as much as a can of soup.

“That is a difficult question. As you know, no two cans of soup have identical weights, so that comparison may have been placed to confuse our experts, by an alien sleeper living amongst us, who obviously is not sleeping.”

He went on to say, “I will be anxious to see what the fingerprint powder turns up. Most people are unaware that aliens have only four fingers.
Therefore, if the prints show no fifth digit, we will know in all certainty they came from an alien, or someone caught picking their nose in an Arabian country.

If the object turns out to be some type of Alien lifeform, we need show no fear, as it is obviously of low intelligence. I mean who would travel all those light-years just to get to New Jersey?”

Before authorities absconded with the mysterious object, The Professor convinced them to allow the crowd to pass it around amongst themselves and remarked, “That strange tingling sensation you’re feeling is probably due to radioactivity. I suggest you wash your hands when you get home.”

The finger print results are coming in. Oh! This is interesting.