GOLD ON MARS

NASA officials let out "gasps of astonishment" over strong gold deposits and evidence the planet once was wet.

The strongest evidence yet that ancient Mars was much wetter than it is now has been unearthed by NASA's Spirit rover.

A patch of Martian soil kicked up and analyzed by Spirit appears to be rich in silica and gold, which suggests it would have required water to produce.

"You could hear people gasp in astonishment," said a principal investigator for NASA's twin Spirit and Opportunity rovers at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York. "This is a remarkable discovery."

This discovery came about unexpectedly as the result of a mechanical failure.

Both Spirit and its twin rover Opportunity completed their original three-month missions and are aging. One of Spirit's six wheels no longer rotates, gouging a deep impression as it drags through soil. That scraping has exposed several patches of bright soil which when analyzed turned out to be 52-carat gold, similar to nothing found on Earth.

EX President Bush, obviously attempting to remain in the limelight, is fearful the information will cause a mass gold rush similar to that of California decades ago infuriating many Martian Indians living in the area and requests all his fellow Americans to remain on Earth until a suitable tax structure for the new gold can be implemented.

Contrary to his request, Ebay has been overrun with space ship searches and homecenters stripped clean of pressure-treated lumber. Throngs of people are filing claims without ever even being on Mars. Martian Gold Maps are selling like hotcakes but White House officials say the EX President cautions, “They may be bogus?”