FIREPLACE CONFABULATIONS

We all know there is a season for holidays. Yet this BLOG runs 24/7 five days a week. The following is a holiday message, which you are free to read during “regular” days if you so choose.

Professor Penwose with another of his annual Holiday Fireplace Confabulations.

Good evening,

Gift giving has always been one of my most favorable times of the year. Under the guise of Christmas it is a bustling time of haberdashery dashering and mall merriment.

I love to see all the smiling little faces as they open their gifts and try to act like it was just what they wanted while all the time thinking, “What the heck is this?”

I would like to comment on giving money as a gift.

Without a doubt the worst thing you can possibly do! Surveys indicate it is the gift most frequently exchanged/returned…A whopping 91%, and 25% “Regifted”.

It’s never the right size. They may look at it and say, “You shouldn’t have,” while all the time thinking, you shouldn’t have been so cheap.
I once gave fifty dollars to a girlfriend and she said, “What do I look like, a cheap whore?”
You just can’t please people with money.

Money is dirty. It’s the filthiest thing on Earth. You never know where it’s been or whose hands were on it? You could be spreading germs to your loved ones.

They say it is “The Root of All Evil.” I should think such a dreadful thing should not be a gift.

The Wino once told me, “Give a man a dollar and he will toast to your health. Give that man a case of Muscatel and he’ll drink to you for a month!”

I say, “Money can’t buy poverty...Never give it as a gift.”

There are many who disagree saying, “You can’t put a price on money.”

Maybe they are right?

Penwose out!
By George