ASTRONUT KIDNAPPER

Hinkly Dinkly Reporting
With a word from AAAA

ASTRONAUT CHARGED WITH KIDNAP ATTEMPT

If I may quote Peter Sellers, "In a Fit of Realous Gage," A NASA astronaut drove 900 miles wearing a diaper and donned a disguise to confront a woman in a bizarre love triangle.

The 43-year-old robotics specialist faces charges including Attempted kidnapping, Attempted vehicle burglary with battery, Impersonating a chicken, and Destruction of evidence,

I must say, I am confused over the charges. Why should it be more severe to burglarize a vehicle with a battery, as opposed to one without? Must be something related to "risk of flight" I would imagine?

Police said the alleged suspect was armed with a BB gun and a can of pepper when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of a fellow astronaut whom she is rumored to be linked to in the Five Hundred Mile High Club.

She allegedly raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers in the car so she wouldn't have to stop to go to the bathroom, authorities said.
Probably more information than we need to know.

Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, she waited for her rival’s plane to land and then boarded the same airport shuttle bus she took to get to her car. The victim told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors.

The astronaut, allegedly then changed into a chicken suit, rapped on the car window, tried to open the door, and finally asked for a ride. The victim saw through the disguise and knew that chickens can't talk,(except for in some parts of Las Vegas,) and refused, but rolled down the window a few inches after the chicken started to cry. The chicken then sprinkled something into her car, apparently thinking it to be pepper spray, which she said smelled bad, but later suggested it may have been from the diaper she was wearing?

Does this sound like appropriate behavior for an astronaut – An officer and a gentleman?

The devoted fellows of AAAA – Alien Abductees & Alcoholics Anonymous say “OF course not!”

This is typical of an abducted individual under the influence of extraterrestrials probably due to an implant or some form of hypnosis. They stated that astronauts are ideal for abductions, as they are already half way there. They suggested she be watched closely.

A judge allowed the astronaut to go free on bail on the condition that she not leave the planet.

Hinkly Out!
By George