2000 BRICK

I remember the sovereign currency I found at the start of The Millennium.

It was January 1st 2000. I was in Pomona California standing along Colorado Boulevard one row back from the curb watching The Rose Bowl Parade go by. I don’t know why but something made me look down? And there it was, old, dirty, wrinkly, and it was on the ground so obviously full of germs. Anything else on the planet and I wouldn’t get within ten feet of it. But it was money! Beautiful money! A hefty twenty dollar bill.

I never saw a twenty dollar bill like that. It was free! Unhanded, out in the open, unrestrained, blowing in the wind, free as a bird.

I stepped on it!

Nonchalantly I looked around. The throng of parade watchers never noticed. Their eyes were fixed on the passing floats of roses. I looked down again. Two corners of the bill were sticking out beyond my boot. There was no time to spare. I bent down, snatched the bill, and stuck it in my pocket as I stood up.

A big smile beamed across my face and I said to myself, “This is going to be MY MILLENNIUM!

That was ten years ago. I’m still waiting for something else to happen.

I almost had a fantastic job, and I should have! I was really cool at the interview. I remember he asked if I had any previous experience?

I avoided the question smartly by stating, “That is a trick question, Sir! I happen to know that ALL experience is previous.”

I’m still waiting for their call. They said they would.

What was I to do? I had no previous experience, but the thought made me think. Maybe I had experience in a previous life? I heard tell, of people who tell, of such things.

I decided to use the twenty-dollar bill to find out about my past lives, even though I realized most of them were probably dead.

As luck would have it several carnivals were in town. Back streets and alleys were filled with high-class reputable low-key fortunetellers. I rang the bell of the first that caught my eye.

I realize the profession is reeking with charlatans and fancy myself quite the spotter of these parasites who prey on pitiful wretches less worldly than myself. When I heard the familiar greeting, “Who’s there?” I knew she was not for me.

Similar responses soon left me standing before the last wagon on the left. I decide to just walk in. She was seated at a table and beckoned me to sit down, “I knew you were coming!” she said.

“This is the one!” said I to myself.

I was marveled by her manner. She had a coo-coo clock that ran backwards and said “coo coo” instead of “coo coo.”

I felt very comfortable, however as I looked around I began to have doubts. A crystal ball on the table was full of fish. Her Ouija Board was being used by a bearded fellow on the phone betting on a horse, and several men in another room were playing poker with her Tarot cards.

She quickly grabbed my hand and said, ”Do not worry, I can read your palm.”

I looked at her as she smiled and saw food where her teeth should have been. I wanted to leave but she had my hand, what could I do?

She spoke broken English with a German accent and Spanish overtones that complemented her Polish background as Marinara sauce and bits of pasta dribbled from her lips.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your dinner,” said I.

“How did you know dat?” she asked with bits of garlic shooting from her mouth, “You could be good Gypsie!”

“OK! Here we go...Counta your fingers and toes from left to right and then from right to left, and do it all over again in reverse order, then alternate between fingers and toes and count backwards intermittently. Then turn upside down and do it all again. If you come upa with the same answer each time you will not have lived previously.”

I was amazed at how she even knew why I was there?

“If you come upa with different answers, you havea different previous lives.”

I started to count my toes but she said to do it later. She looked at my palm and made a magic sign, she said what I need was, “To get a life!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Imma notta joking! Your Life Line isa too short – you shoulda be dead already!”

I flexed my hand a little creating a wrinkle that extended my life thirty years.

She smiled and said, “Your Love Line isa even worser – you love somebody who don’t love you – and that’sa nota gonna change with a cheap wrinkle trick.”

She was wise!

I went home and counted my toes and fingers like she said. The answer is always different so I know I’ve lived multiple lives.

I tried several types of hypnosis to search the inner sanctums of my mind and reveal the many lives I may have lived, however each time I start to recant my tales they wake me looking terrified and say they’re going to need a lot more money before they continue.

I don’t know where all of this is leading me but I do know that this is My Millennium!

By George